If you are not an animal lover or lived on a farm, this may not make sense to you, but hopefully it will touch a cord.

Today was one of those frustrating days on many fronts.  Work was very difficult towards the end of the day and I couldn't wait for the weekend.  The bed was calling my name for much needed rest, but we needed to trek an hour into town for my daughter's class and some errands.  On the way there, I felt very unmotherly (another word I created).  I needed some down time, some time to get myself back into gear, but I was driving along with my daughter in the back seat.  The radio was on and it was raining - God brought me some relaxation anyway. 

Then I get a text and the sale of our old farm is going downhill again.  Why can't a closing go smoothly?  Anyhow, my stress level is skyrocketing and I still have to run my errands.  We did and on the way home, daughter and I talked further about an interaction with a friend.  This time she was relaxed and talked more freely.  I love it when she does that and we talk like 2 girlfriends, with me giving her the other person's point of view and how to share hers so she is understood. 

Once home I was back on the phone about the closing and middle of the ground on my stress level.  I laid down and picked up a novel I'd gotten behind on.  The main character is a strong christian woman who gets through each trial, not perfectly, but always closer to God.  I know my current trial will do the same for me.  Hubby was fast asleep, and I hear the baby goats and their mother crying.  It is pooring down rain and I know all the goats should be together and dry.  But mom sounded like she was out, so she must be separated from those babies.  She is an excellent mother and the stress of the weather, the move, and separation over night could hurt her health and the babies', so I ask where the flashlight is.  Hubby has no clue what words are. :)  I look frantically for a flashlight because there are no lights by the goat 'house'.  I find one in a box in the kitchen.  yes!!  I put on my pink rain boots, a full length fireman like yellow rain coat, and get my red/white umbrella.  I'm ready for business. 

Porch light on, I head down the side yard.  The water is flowing fast to the sink hole in the goat field.  Please don't let those babies be trapped in there.  I see no white fur thankfully and keep going.  There are 3 goats out of the field.  One is that mama goat, Bella.  She's kind of wild, so this will be tricky.  She is soaking wet. and with her 2 half siblings.  The babies are inside.  After maneuvering a steel wagon wheel, my flashlight and umbrella on the tractor, I figure out how to get mom back in.  The siblings are smaller and not frightened.  They see I'm trying to make an opening at the side of the gate and they get in.  But this mama is too scared.  I pray that God helps me get her to her babies.  The buck, who smells horrid in no uncertain terms, is sniffing my fingers.  If his smell gets on me, it will take a whole day for it to come off.  Determined to keep him from the opening, I dangle my fingers away from it so he can sniff or lick them, whatever he wants, as long as that mama gets inside. 

I have to shoo her around the tractor and it's not working.  Finally, I think she is weak and I pull the gate open and grab her by the horns and pull as hard as I can.  I then have to pick up her front half and lift it out of the loader.  Finally, I get her through the opening and get it closed back up.  The babies are happy and she walks back over to look at me as if to say wow, thanks for helping me.  I'm still afraid, but that was cool of you.

There is no way I would have gone to sleep.  Goats cannot always take care of themselves.  We are responsible for them and they come before I do.  Hmmm....isn't that mothering?  Did God just give me an experience of motherly instinct I could not deny?  Yes he did and I wanted to come back in and tell my daughter all about it.  But that will wait until morning.  She is asleep oblivious to the farm 'emergency'.  But I feel renewed and that God is telling me to hang in there, everyone has their ups and downs. 

God speaks to us in so many ways subtle every day, but sometimes he needs to be a little more direct with us.   He needs to show us we can still persevere.

Thank you, Lord, for continually showing me I have hope in you and you will always be there to pick me up and let me know I'm not alone.  Thank you for showing me love.  Amen.