Strong enough?

"Strong Enough"    -Matthew West

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

This goes along with the verse I posted yesterday, 2 Corinthians 12:9, My strength is made perfect in his weakness.

When I first heard this song, I passed it on to an acquaintance online going through what I consider insurmountable situations.  Her husband lost his job and their adopted teenage daughter was hurting her younger children, attacking her, and accusing her of child abuse, for which she was arrested.  Yet she kept trying to help this girl no matter what she did to the family.  This song really spoke to her. 

At the time I was in a happy place and was thankful it wasn't applying to me.  Then wham!  God said I was too comfortable.  Just when I thought everything was smooth some major issues came up with my daughter.  I didn't understand.  Then I'd hear this song and wonder if this was the road I was going down.  Was God telling me to step back and let Him take full control?  And what is full control?  I stepped back some but not enough. 

During this time, hope was an issue for me.  One other time in my life did I lose hope and I went down a dark path.  I had no intention of doing that again, so I searched for what God was revealing to me.

The mission trip team did team devotionals on fruit of the spirit.  They really convicted me.  I did fine with everyone else but my daughter.  I could not control my emotions where she was concerned and it was hurting our relationship.  At the end of our trip, due to lack of sleep, etc, a friend and I had a melt down in our relationship.  Finally, I was "down to nothing" as the song says and I got it, truly got it.  I am not strong enough.  And I let go.  No matter what I do, God is in control and I don't have to be strong.

He provided me hope in the last week, real hope from His word and those around me.  I relaxed and asked Him to take over.  My fear was that my daughter's therapist wasn't seeing everything I was and how she was retreating rather than progressing.  I decided that God will show her and the right people what is going on so they can help her and the decisions concerning her will not be solely on my shoulders.  And God spoke loudly to say "I'm here, my daughter, and now I can work that you've stepped back."  During therapy yesterday, the therapist got it and realized what I had been seeing.  

I have been much calmer with my daughter in the last 2 weeks.  This came from shifting my focus from her and her situation to God.  I can't control what she does, and reacting the same way was getting me nowhere.  God showed me I needed to change me to be spiritually healthy and let Him take over.  What peace came over me.  I feel I'm on a new journey and running towards my Father and that is sheer joy.

Thank you, Father, for your patience with your children.  Thank you for being strong enough and always having control.  Thank you for speaking to us when we seek you, and speaking in such wonderful ways.  Thank you for holding me so close.  Amen.