Strong enough?

"Strong Enough"    -Matthew West

You must
You must think I'm strong
To give me what I'm going through

Well, forgive me
Forgive me if I'm wrong
But this looks like more than I can do
On my own

I know I'm not strong enough to be
everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
For the both of us

Well, maybe
Maybe that's the point
To reach the point of giving up

Cause when I'm finally
Finally at rock bottom
Well, that's when I start looking up
And reaching out

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Cause I'm broken
Down to nothing
But I'm still holding on to the one thing
You are God
and you are strong
When I am weak

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

I can do all things
Through Christ who gives me strength
And I don't have to be
Strong enough
Strong enough

Oh, yeah

I know I'm not strong enough to be
Everything that I'm supposed to be
I give up
I'm not stong enough
Hands of mercy won't you cover me
Lord right now I'm asking you to be
Strong enough
Strong enough
Strong enough

This goes along with the verse I posted yesterday, 2 Corinthians 12:9, My strength is made perfect in his weakness.

When I first heard this song, I passed it on to an acquaintance online going through what I consider insurmountable situations.  Her husband lost his job and their adopted teenage daughter was hurting her younger children, attacking her, and accusing her of child abuse, for which she was arrested.  Yet she kept trying to help this girl no matter what she did to the family.  This song really spoke to her. 

At the time I was in a happy place and was thankful it wasn't applying to me.  Then wham!  God said I was too comfortable.  Just when I thought everything was smooth some major issues came up with my daughter.  I didn't understand.  Then I'd hear this song and wonder if this was the road I was going down.  Was God telling me to step back and let Him take full control?  And what is full control?  I stepped back some but not enough. 

During this time, hope was an issue for me.  One other time in my life did I lose hope and I went down a dark path.  I had no intention of doing that again, so I searched for what God was revealing to me.

The mission trip team did team devotionals on fruit of the spirit.  They really convicted me.  I did fine with everyone else but my daughter.  I could not control my emotions where she was concerned and it was hurting our relationship.  At the end of our trip, due to lack of sleep, etc, a friend and I had a melt down in our relationship.  Finally, I was "down to nothing" as the song says and I got it, truly got it.  I am not strong enough.  And I let go.  No matter what I do, God is in control and I don't have to be strong.

He provided me hope in the last week, real hope from His word and those around me.  I relaxed and asked Him to take over.  My fear was that my daughter's therapist wasn't seeing everything I was and how she was retreating rather than progressing.  I decided that God will show her and the right people what is going on so they can help her and the decisions concerning her will not be solely on my shoulders.  And God spoke loudly to say "I'm here, my daughter, and now I can work that you've stepped back."  During therapy yesterday, the therapist got it and realized what I had been seeing.  

I have been much calmer with my daughter in the last 2 weeks.  This came from shifting my focus from her and her situation to God.  I can't control what she does, and reacting the same way was getting me nowhere.  God showed me I needed to change me to be spiritually healthy and let Him take over.  What peace came over me.  I feel I'm on a new journey and running towards my Father and that is sheer joy.

Thank you, Father, for your patience with your children.  Thank you for being strong enough and always having control.  Thank you for speaking to us when we seek you, and speaking in such wonderful ways.  Thank you for holding me so close.  Amen.

Are you glowing?

What an amazing trip we had in Alaska!  God did not disappoint us.  He dazzled us with scenery and drew us near to him through testimonies from the students.

We were privileged to have a female student with us for the week.  She comes from a village on the west coast of Alaska. 

The other villages call it Suicide Village because the suicides are so rampant.  She shared her story with us of cousins and a sister who committed suicide.  It wasn't until she was 16 and peeking in at a Vacation Bible School that she decided she wanted to be happy.  She saw a glow on the faces of the people there and she wanted it.  She was tired of the alcoholism and depression around her.  I thank God for the VBS and the workers that reached out even though she sat there with her hood up, determined not to be involved. 

She is now 25 and seeking God in EVERY part of her life.  And I mean EVERY part.  She is sold out to him but realizes she's still human.  She struggles daily with His guidance and wanting to truly hear Him.  Her maturity in the Lord is heart stopping.

My daughter got to hear her testimony and although it won't make an impact in the short term, I know she will remember every word and when she's ready to be happy, she will reflect on my friend's journey. 

Hmmmm....are you glowing?  Are you letting God shine through you?  Seems it's a daily question to ask ourselves.  If we are His child, we are to be His light.  Let Him shine through today.

Father God, I praise you for shining through circumstances that are so completely out of our control.  Thank you for being in control and the peace that gives us.  Please make it clear to my friend the next step of her journey.  Please make my next steps clear as well.  Thank you so much, amen.

My strength is made perfect in weakness.   2 Corinthians 12:9

"...Here am I. Send me!"

⁸ Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us? ”

And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”  Isaiah 6:8

This morning I read a friend's blog and was inspired to pick mine back up.  And I thank God for sending me that friend last fall at a conference.  She is such a God-centered woman and who couldn't use another friend like that?  :)

In the last year especially, I have really focused on listening to God's guidance in my life.  And for those times when I truly hear Him, the blessings become a flood.  The times when I don't, well, life gets a bit crazy. 



One Saturday 3 months or so ago I went to a women's luncheon with some old friends and God told me it's time for a mission trip.  I've always wanted to go on one, but have never given it serious thought.  The next day I spoke with my dear friend at church and within the week, a mission trip was in the works for May.  We leave in 2 days!  During the prep for this trip, God has shown the 15 of us going amazing things about Him and ourselves.  I can't imagine what the actual trip will do for us. 

We are going to a college that ministers to students from the bush of Alaska.  However, they will not be at the college when we are.  I kept trying to think of something we could leave on their pillows when they return in the fall to let them know they are the reason for our trip and that we care about them.  Bookmarks with verses came to mind, and maybe....maybe we can get those done this summer after the trip and send them back up.  Because I didn't possibly have time to do it after all the fundraisers and activities going on for the local kids. 

This Monday God said to get the kids from church involved and get it done this week.  So, we got the bookmarks made and took them to church last night.  Then we had the 1st - 6th graders put a message or picture on the back to make them personal.  The kids loved getting to be part of our trip and their messages were so sweet.  The idea of helping the students put wonderfully huge smiles on their faces.

Did this idea come from me?  No, it was all God.  I'm so thankful He was loud and clear about it.  I had to put other things aside, but once again, the blessings poured down.

Lord, I thank you for your guidance, your blessings, and your love.  We fall so short in so many ways and yet you choose to use us anyway.  What a perfect plan so we do not get the glory or your works.  Please help me to continue to truly listen and seek you every single day.  And help us make an impact for you on this mission trip.  You are amazing!  Amen.

Starting the New Year off right? I challenge you!

Happy New Year to everyone!  I trust you have already counted your many blessings of 2011.  For the first time, my husband, daughter, and I did this at dinner on the 31st.  2011 was one of the best years of my life.  It taught me that if I give my heart over to God, He will fill it with His desires for me and show me an abundant life. 

Do I always get to see all the wonders He has for me?  No, I don't think so.  I mess things up too much trying to do them myself.  But for the times I can let go and let God, my cup overflows.

This morning my cup overflows with my daughter at home with me at her desk and me at mine.  There is an incredible blessing in being with your kids every day and seeing your husband throughout the day.  In the few weeks she has been homeschooled, we have grown closer together - getting that really cool time together. 

I challenge each of you to simplify your life in one way during January.  Klove has a challenge to only listen to christian music for 30 days.  Maybe you only read christian literature, or you go the month without t.v., or decrease your tv time by one hour a day.  Spend one hour more a day with your family instead of on a gadget.  God knows what the challenge is for you.  Seek it and live abundantly!!

Thank you, Lord, for your many blessings and guiding hand in my life.  Remind me when I'm not paying attention and are veering off your road.  I praise you for what I see you doing in my family and in others I can see.  Please show me how to serve you this year.  Amen.

Has God spanked you lately?

Yesterday morning we had a wonderful sermon centered on Jonah Chapter 2.  In Chapter 1, Jonah had run from God's command to go to Ninevah and preach to them.  When woken on the ship (during his escape journey), he told the them God was his God and he feared him.  Really?  He was running from him and not obeying him.  To get his attention, God spanked Jonah hard.  He threw him into the water and let a whale swallow him.  It was easier for God to get 600,000 people to repent than it was to get Jonah to go and do his part.  As Pastor Owens said, anyone who is in the belly of a whale quickly becomes a praying person. :)  And Jonah quickly came back to his God.  (If this story seems scattered, please read Jonah.  Short book with great meaning.)

Pastor Owens' point was that when you are a child of God, truly a child of God, he will spank you to get your attention.  He wants you back with him.  Are you in the belly of a whale right now?  Have you been listening to God instead of telling Him what you want to do?  We are all there at different times, myself included.  Give God your attention and go fully into His path for you. He's waiting to bless you abundantly.

Lord, thank you for your discipline and love.  I pray for anyone in the belly of the whale right now, that they will turn their eyes back to you and come running with their arms wide open.  We know you will embrace us. 
I lift up those I love to you, knowing you will cradle them.  Amen.

Romans 12 : 14-16
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and curse not.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep,
16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate wtih the lowly.  Do not be wise in your own estimation.

Wow, so many lessons in these 3 verses. 

14 - it's so easy to lash out at someone who hurts you, misinterprets something you say/do, or outright lies about you.  But God is telling us in all those situations to bless that person.  Easy,  huh?  Maybe when it's unintentional.  Not when it's intentional or someone thinks less of you as a result.  I've dealt with this over the past couple of days so I know God had me read this verse this morning.  When you swallow hard and bless the ones causing you strife, the strife seems to fade away.

15 - Do you celebrate your friends victories?  Do you get close enough to them that you truly know how special their rejoices are?  When you do, and you rejoice with them, the blessings are incredible.  And when a friend is weeping and it makes you uncomfortable, do you step out anyway and weep with them?

16 - I also believe God put this first square in front of me today.  Things have been going really well and I was getting a bit of a big head.  Then bam!  The situation in verse 14 happened and turned my world upside down.  God needed to knock me down a couple of notches and show me He gave me these gifts and He is guiding me.  Just because I get some decisions right and just because I may excel at something doesn't mean it's due to me. 

Lord, thank you for the lessons you continually teach me.  Especially those I have a hard time learning.  I will strive to keep my focus on you and not me.  Please let me see others how you want me to see them and to rejoice and weep with them.  Thank you for pulling me close just as a Father should.  I love you, amen.

Devil got your tongue?

14 Do all things without grumbling or disputing;

15 that you may prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world.

Phillipians 2:14-15

This hit me square in the face in my job.  It has been very stressful lately and others have not steadily done their jobs, but regardless, my witness needed to be that of a light, not someone ranting about everything being so bad.  It was very difficult.  God gave me different verses to get my attention so I would watch my tongue.  Search God to see what He's trying to show you.

²⁹ Let no ^[a]unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification ^[b]according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29 (New American Standard Bible)