God answers so incredibly.
Saturday was one of "those" days with our daughter. But she crossed a new threshold of saying nothing we do will change her behavior or her thoughts. She has passive-aggressive Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), so to be so blunt and outspoken is a new thing we are seeing. Normally you just see it in her actions or written across her face. And now we are trying to determine next steps. She has been homeschooled for over a year now and the last few months, the grades went from Cs to Ds, to now Fs. She has refused to do certain projects, etc and gives no effort. For those thinking we do not discipline, you do not know us well. :) She was placed with us for the amount of structure and discipline we would provide without coddling her and indulging her as has been her past experience. When she participates with the family and is adhering to her responsibilities, she gets to do the cool stuff. When she doesn't give to the family and is "no fun," the family doesn't give extra to her. This is to teach her that relationships are give and take. Something we are very concerned about in her adult life.
Hubby and I talked alot yesterday and last night. I reached out to an online group asking for prayer and very quickly received encouragement. First a prayer and then the offer for me to contact another RAD mother privately. Christian RAD mothers are my saving grace. They get it. There is no explanation needed and they do not berate you for the mistakes you have made in trying to figure out your child who has had an unthinkable past and therefore a heartbreaking present. It's so hard to be hopeful for my daughter, but the Lord always brings me back to hope.
I read through Romans 5 last night, then 6, and 7. It brought me comfort and a better outlook. I prayed with my palms open to God to take this from me, do His thing. As always, when I truly give it to Him, a peace came over me.
This morning I awoke to a reply from this new friend and then I sat to read my devotional. The prayer and verse at the end were for me. Yes, God knew when it was printed I would need it this morning. :)
"Lord, so many people around me are in need of prayer! You know, too, how much I am in need of your guidance, courage, and willpower. Help me to pray for others and to be genuinely engaged in prayer."
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. ~ Romans 12:12 NLT.
It always comes back to hope for me.
My husband had suggested I take a long weekend and go somewhere by myself. 3 or 4 days by myself is actually not my ideal. I would rather spend it with him away from home. But then I thought I could reach out to a friend to go with me. Then it hit me I have moved so much and have a habit of not staying in touch that I really didn't have anyone that I've known for years on end I could call and know she would say yes. This new friend offered to go! I was so thankful, but did not expect such an offer. It did, however, give me the courage to reach out to a very good friend and ask if she would like to take a trip. That is very hard for me to do. I know people have hectic lives and it's not easy for anyone to get away. So even if she can't, it's okay. I took the step and that is huge for me.
God works on us through trials, as my life verses affirm. But He knows when times get tough, we get off track and can get overwhelmed, losing sight of His bigger plan.
Thank you, Lord, for being so patient with me and for loving me. Help me to put all my trust in you, being CONFIDENT in your hope, no matter how tough your pruning is and no matter how hopeless situations may seem. Amen
